Well it is upon us again the day that celebrates the christian martyr of Valentine, that has over the years been twisted, particularly by Chaucer’s courtly love into a very elaborate and hollow festival of love and of course commercialism. Now as you can imagine Valentines Day is about as much fun as a wedding for a single man. You get to see lots of people pretending to enjoy each others company when actually they have just had a massive to do over what shoe’s or tie their partner decided to where to their over price and overcrowded restaurant.
In light of the credit crunch it might even mean a few businesses staying in business for a couple of extra weeks! Its ironic really Valentines day seems to be very romantic if you are in a new and fresh relationship, through my cynical observations, it seems that after the second year of ‘serious’ relationship, even the women become slightly jaded. Whereas the men just book a table or buy some flowers to keep the ‘magic’ alive, and women go along with the pretense just encase they upset the apple cart.
Is it Really that hard to tell someone that you love them on any one of the other 364 days in a year. If everyone was to spread out the love, then I wouldn’t have to avoid the 14th February in fear of seeing too many public displays of infection. As ever my love life is about as interesting as the Financial Times to a two year old girl (although I guess it is kind of pink looking!), it has been like that for as long as I can remember, women seem instantly repelled by my humour and good looks!
Now its been years since I received a Valentines card, and when I did it was anonymous; What is the point in that, I am a single man, I am very open to offers for female company, yet they send an anonymous card! What am I supposed to do with that, use my sixth sense! Girls and Boys if you actually want someone to sit up and take note, send a photo, email address, phone number and a bunch of flowers stolen from a cemetery (nothing like leaving the card on “In loving memory of John”), but above for the love of god send a name. We are not in the playground now, so grow up!
I guess I should answer the question as to how many cards I have sent this year. Well given that I really don’t know any local ladies that could A) Stand a day in my company, B) Actually be single, C) Be attracted to me and D) Be attractive, so at the moment the plan is to send zero, mainly to avoid disappointment. To quote a hero of mine Jim’ll Fit It Saville, “I don’t want no brain damage, Man!” Although saying that I could do with a service, maybe I should go to Amsterdam and pay for it, probably cheaper both financially and emotionally in the long run!
Anyway Happy Valentines Day!
