Month: December 2008

Well last week I brought you my lil’Bro’s ‘Internet Single Mum’ song. Now I find out that he’s masquerading as The Singing Critic on YouTube. Now I had a some favourable comments from the last time I posted his work. So here I give you some of his criticism, I hope you didn’t find the diving bell and the butterfly an emotionally moving film, as his review maybe doesn’t reflect it. Remember its meant to be funny, not serious.

If you are offended, then press stop, and click away from the page.

Two bits of new that have got my attention today, firstly a £50 billion fraudster, who went on record last year saying that fraud of that kind was just impossible due to the regulations. Well for all the people who wanted the too good to be true return on there investments guess what it was too good to be true. As a person that lives hand to mouth my ‘investments’ are save!

If going down the financial toilet wasn’t bad enough for you then in a report that was due out today climatologists have announced that the Arctic acceleration of global warming has been seen at levels that we didn’t expect until 10 to 15 years from now. The broadsheets even used words like past the ‘point of no return’. Where the summer heat is being retain and heating up the polar regions during what should be the winter months. Postponing the formation of sea ice.

So whilst we are getting a financial shoeing on the one side, we are about to have an environment beating on the other just to compound the issue. Whilst I didn’t see the red tops, but somewhere after the biggest fraud in history story, and the words greedy rich bastard rips off the world, I am sure there would be a headline, ‘We’re All Dooooomed’.

Climbing in North Wales is as good as it gets for the delicate balancing act of convenience versus adventure. Without driving another 6 hours further north to Scotland or joining the gentry in the Lakes, Llanberis Pass offers some of the best mountain rock anywhere in the country. A myriad of cliffs, strafe the valley sides, but no one crag perhaps best captures the spirit of adventure as much Cryn Las.

The skeletal face looks down on you as you walk in, its eyes stare at you sizing you up. Its mouth whispers swift put downs, that make you divert your eyes, like walking down any High Street at pub closing times, you keep your eyes down and hope that the town drunk doesn’t take a fancy to you.

It is an impressive crag though and as much as you try to avoid looking up your gaze is quickly drawn to whatever route you choose. For most this will be Main Wall, the easiest route on this cliff, and a well deserved classic, but looking up you will struggle to see ‘an easy route’, so devious is the line.

My first acquaintance with the route was one sunny summers afternoon, the kind of day that makes climbing up here not so much possible, but pleasant. I ran up alone, chalk bag and rock boots tied round my waste the sweat began to drip onto my glasses. By the time i reached the base i was a mess. Settling myself down, cleaning my glasses and drying my hair on my shirt I put on my shoes and started moving up. Slowly developing a rhythm to my progress, a thinking pace that allowed enough time to think of the next move but not of the situation.

I was over 200ft up when my rhythm was broken, as I climbed up behind another team. The reality of my situation was now apparent. My heart rate which had dropped since the jog in had started to rise again, my breathing deepen, as for the first time my mind realised what I had done. As I play follow my leader to the next ledge I try to counteract the growing trepidation. ‘This is not the time, This is not the time,This is not the time…’

As I reach the safety of the ledge, I am met by SAGA climbing tours. I sound facetious but there wasn’t one of the 5 or so assembled climbers under retirement age. Some you will recognise from the first ascent history of a few of the classic lines in the area. At that moment I knew that I wanted to grow old just so I can relive these quasi ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ moments with my ageing climbing companions.

They graciously handed over the rock to let me pass, as I traversed out to the final exposed arete my rhythm started to return, allowing me to enjoy the setting at the edge of heaven. The route was one of those moments of madness, but one that has remained with me for years, as is quite often the powerful emotional experience of climbing unroped.

* * *

I was sat round a friends house, it was just another summers day really, the sun rays still warming the day, the smell of coffee percolated the house, and the feint aroma of bacon was slowly dying. Cards layout out on the table, playing for who next made the brews before we head out.

Our peace was viciously destroyed by another friend, tearful and full of sorrow uttered the words. ‘They have found Will, dead’. In those few moments that it took the messenger to compose herself my head was already spinning with unanswerable questions. Instantly I run through scenarios, Will becoming a victim of his own judgement on a solo ascent, a car crash or some other unpredictable accident. The truth far to difficult to comprehend.

I run through those times I have been climbing with him, times too numerous to remember at once, one thought leads to another, as a friend and I sob into each others shoulders. There is no comfort, no solace and no solution to our grief.

My memory is shaky, diluted through years retrospect, and having been here before. On this mighty cliff, its a bit of a joke really, although I didn’t know it at the time I was to fail on every pitch of this route on three separate occasions. But with Will I was lucky, he rope gunned every pitch, after I wasted more time flailing, like a child suddenly thrown into the deep end.

The route was amazing, one of the reasons I had been back three times to attempt to lead at least one of the pitches. The last pitch is the most memorable of any on this cliff. Cutting through the nose of the skull, and out through the eye. The skeletor figurehead, threatens to eat you you as you disappear deep in to an overhanging groove. Bridging for your life as the drop barks at you feet like pact of charging wolves.

I am lucky though, to share these precious moments with a dear friend, who is now only visible in the rear view mirror of life. A bright and warming light extinguished too early. A waste, a loss, a constant reminder to me that life is just too short.

* * *

My last time on the cliff, was again another hot day, baking would be a better description. We literally fried as we approached, ideal conditions for such a shady mountain crag. This time I was with Greame, nearly exactly twenty years my senior. I used his 50th birthday party to celebrate my 30th. It was over this summer that we climbed this route.

Two ageing climbers, on paper at least trying to fight the inevitable downward arch of a flight through climbing. Struggling to maintain the status quo. Our route was the classic Lubyanka. The great central corner/groove system that splits the crag, separating the men from the boys. A flip of the coin deciding the order for the day.

I was to tackle the first crux, an obstinate groove, with a bouldery start and heart stopping finish. On the ledge we caught up with a friend out for the day with his son on Main Wall. As Steve traverses out of sight I am left in the company of his son. I feel jealously and sorrow for this young boy, jealous that he has the opportunity to experience the adventure of such an outstanding route, but sorrow that he has lost the opportunity to make such an ascent for himself in a few years times. For me it was one of those more memorable experiences, for him just another day out with his father.

For me my father and son moments are long since vanished, instead memories of my father taking me fishing on the south coast. Long nights casting out into the darkness, landing a 10 pound cod on a shingle beach as the sun starts to over power the yellow tinge of the Tilley lamp, gone are those days a dodgy heart and over fishing making both impossible. I did not have the benefit of a mountain guide as a father, but at the same time I did have the benefit of making my own mistakes and learning for myself.

The continuation of the corner above led more pleasantly to what can only be described as the headwall. We were to avoid issue by sneaking up the groove on the left until a line of quartz leads invitingly out right. This photogenic pitch, apparently leads to nowhere, the rail of quartz soon extinguishes itself without the merest hint of protection. As I watch Graeme scuttles rightwards, the ropes arch out into space.

Trying to capture that ‘picture’ Greame managed to climb virtually all climbable rock other than the actual pitch, which he followed as a last resort. Whilst I belay glad that the old man is on the sharp end. Hobbling down the descent to the valley, its just another route ticked, but as I walk away I look back and you should never look back it will just antagonise them.

Over the years I have collect a reasonable portfolio of climber portraits. Some are well known others are good friends some are just of people I have come across. I prefer to catch people off guard, and try to capture something more natural than the whole, say ‘Cheese’.

Tim Neil busy assessing MIA candidates at the Cromlech, the Dream Job?

Stu McAleese and Girlfriend Miranda attending Al Geogre’s Ball

Graham ‘Streaky’ Desroy, hanging out at the BMC international Meet.

Sam Tackle the final groove of Absent Friends E5 6b Craig Doris, Lleyn Peninsular

Rob Wilson on the Juice at the LLAMFF pub quiz!

Noel Craine the morning after the LLAMFF pub Quiz

Kate below Right Wall, Dinas Cromlech

The Legend of Climbing Johnny Dawes at LLAMFF

John Redhead hangs out at an exhibition of his older work at LLAMFF

Joe Brown soaking up the ray at the Costa Del Dali.

Ioan Doyle preparing to warm up on Right Wall.

South African climber hangs out on Dinas Mot during the BMC international meet.

Mark Dicken attempting an Off-width in Fontainbleau.

The Man, The Myth, its George Smith – The right way up this time!

Dave Rudkin on top of a cleaned route during the Tremadog Festival.

007 – No 00 Colin Goodey – Licenced to Drill!

Elfyn Jones awaiting the Taxi home – Joint RAF – LLMRT training.

Bryn Williams – LLMRT Training

Andy Stotesbury hosting on the BMC International Meet.

Al Hughes at the Al George Ball

Al george at LLAMFF

Its a Friday afternoon and as usual I have taken a ‘free’ known to the teachers as a study period, I was probably meant to have been in a physics lesson learning about force vectors or some such rubbish. My playing hooky has a reason though, a weekly operation that requires military planning, precision timing and a fair bit of cheek. Whilst the PE master is down on the field making year nines’ run about in the rain, throwing odd shaped balls about, Atholl and I are poised to making a daring run into the games store.

We have to borrow the keys from the office, dash into the store and then hide the contraband in my brothers car, parked at the other end of the school, as well as return the keys without being caught. What we are lifting from the school are a few ropes, a rack and a couple of harnesses.

This particular weekend we are heading to subluminal, a small single pitch cliff on the swanage coastline. We had been planning the excursion for weeks, and finally another friend had passed his driving test so we could make the journey independently, and have our own little adventure.

These mission were starting to grow in bravery, we had started top roping and leading at Dancing ledge, which had already seen Atholl deck out from 30ft despite this we had out grown the venue and needed to move on newer and more exciting things. Subliminal would be the first cliff that would require us to use a guidebook.

My first lead was the easiest at the crag, High Street a pleasant VD, unlike most single pitch crags this one required an abseil approach, and not being wise in the selection of where we set the ropes up, a few dramatic jumps across imposing chasms. On reacquaintance they are little more than big steps, none the less it all added to the sense of adventure in our early forays into the unknown. It was also the first place that I started to shake like a shitting dog when on lead as the fear took over.

The first big mistake we made, well actually I made was to forget the rope for lead climbing out again. Too embarrassed to admit it I went round the corner to ‘have a dump’ and then promptly soloed up and then down the easy chimney to retrieve the rope. On my return all atholl said was ‘that must have hurt, shitting that rope out!’

Before long we had ticked most of the easy routes at the crag, and were becoming ever confident in our ability, so attempted the harder test piece of ‘Stroof’ a well named E1 finger crack. Our siege tactics were certainly not a text book ascent, but an ascent non the less. It was neither my first nor last lead fall, but it was my first breach into the realms of extreme climbing.

The thing I remember about this cliff is that it was more often sunny than not, and every time down there in the early days was an adventure. Something that probably spurred me onto taking greater and greater risks within climbing. Even on that first acquaintances where we had stolen climbing equipment from the school was one of the best climbing experiences I have had. I had shared it with Atholl my first climbing partner.

Atholl is a total card, the last I heard he was selling cars again, I say again because the last time he was a car salesman he was sacked after driving a brand new Williams Renault Clio off the back off the delivery truck and then promptly into the rear end of another car as he delivered it to another garage. Apparently not the done thing!

I returned to the crag recently, forgetting my rock shoes so only soloed the easy lines to get a feel for the place again. They were reasonably interesting in my sports casual trainers. It wasn’t the worse thing I ever forgot there though, I once returned from university with a lass I went to school with who had got into climbing so trying to impress, I thought I’d show off my climbing skill.

Arriving at the top of the cliff I unpacked my bag only to realise that all my climbing gear had been safely packed away by me into another bag, ready to fly out to
Yosemite the following day. So I was left with one quickdraw and three wires. I remember cruising up the old classics of my youth, making light work of them, despite only being able to place one runner per route. Sam thought I was insane, which was probably an incredibly insightful observation, suffice to say she wasn’t impressed.

I can’t mention this crag without bringing to your attention the best severe I have come across would be a sinful act. I have tackled similar terrain at Gogarth, and usually it requires at least an E3 grade. Here however everything is in the right place, and the right width to back and foot easily. The route is Avernus and climbs up to the apex of a cave before back and footing out across it in a stupendous position, then finally exiting through a natural blow hole into the blinding sunlight.

My greatest error of judgement at swanage during my early days climbing, involved a shunt a shunt and rope soloing. The most obvious line on the main section of the Swanage cliffs was Finale Groove, a three star classic line that from the topo goes straight up an open groove, it was easily located from above because of the nesting restriction makers on the cliff top. I tied off a few pitifully rusty stakes and abseiled in.

It was too late before I realise that finale groove might well go straight up, but it also overhangs 4 metres in its entire length. So as I hung there in space looking at the rock thinking that this is going to be sporty as I descend to the ruckle below. Starting the climb was easy, I just had to keep going up and try not to fall off otherwise it would be a heart stopping pendulum into space. I did try, and my heart did stop momentary as i screamed into a plummeting arc the rock a distant memory, and there I was hanging in space, thinking about those stakes.

I had read up on prussiking in Ian Peter and Alan Fyffes bible of rock climbing. In a strange twist years later I would work for Ian and climb with Alan’s son Blair. My screams and the subsequent faffing must have raised concerns somewhere because before I new it the Coastguard helicopter was hoovering next to me. I gave them a confident smile and wave hoping to give the impression that this was all planned, as they saw me ascending at snails pace they flew off, spectacle over.

All this happen before I reached 18, and my survival was probably down to luck alone. Those first few lessons where harsh, and could well have ended disastrously. I recently learnt that a friends climbing partner fell off these cliff when starting to climb paralysing herself. There but for the grace of gods.

I would like to say I learnt my lessons, but I still occasionally forget my rock boots, ropes or even rack. Llion will remember having to climb Dream of White Horse with four wires, two cams and six slings, Simon will remember soloing up Light House Arete to retrieve the lead ropes, although I suspect it was a deliberate ploy to make me solo the route and Elaine will remember my embarrassment of having to lead easy slate routes in trainers after forgetting my rock boots again. Still I am now a qualified mountaineering instructor so have the judgement of experience and the experience to judge!

Getting there

Head to Wareham, Dorset where you can follow signposts to swanage, as you enter the town you will see some brown signpost to Durleston Country Park follow these to the car park, then head towards the lighthouse, from there walk down and slightly right until your reach a small broken platform of rock that extends along the top of the cliff.

The crag is a great venue for novices who wish a little bit more of an adventure, or those wanting to have a steady introduction to climbing on sea cliffs. Absolute beginners may well find the experience a little overwhelming.

The crag is in the Climbers Club Guide to Swanage and Portland, as well as the new RockFax Dorset guidebook.

This was posted on UKC earlier this week and if you missed it I can highly recommend it. I really enjoyed the surreal intro.

There was also a film by Tim Kemple posted on the UKC friday night video, if you kept pressing the more button you got to see this video called 100 days. About 100 days in the life of Tim who is a professional commercial photographer. Some great images and amazing show reel of professional work.

Now the news this week that the long banned crag, just off the A55 Craig Y Forwen has reopened for climbing, was met with suitable pats on the back for all those concerned and involved in the process, however reports that the person who brought about the ban didn’t even own the land, makes you wonder that if anyone had actually got the land deeds out twenty years ago then all this could have been avoided? Or indeed whether the ban was ever ‘legal’

Obviously I wasn’t anything to do with the process, and am no doubt over simplifying the situation. However as it has come to light that the actual owner of the land doesn’t appear to have any problems with climbers if we park and access the crag responsibly and in the BMC described manner.

The news is still great, and I for one am looking forward to climbing there again!

Photo:A happy Simon Panton In front of a mound of guidebooks by Gareth Aston (Stolen from Ground up website!)

Well I returned from the climbing wall to be told by my house mate that there was a copy of the New Gogarth North guide awaiting my collection in V12. Whilst I don’t really want to offer this as a review, mainly because I am very close to the group that authored this guide. Although I had very little to do with this guide other than accompanying a few of the route checkers on there expeditions. However I have removed myself from the bedroom accompanied only by the guide and feel that it is a suitable replacement for the old guide.

The guide is impressive, with loads of photo topos, new route info, and even new areas. Including some sport climbing venues. There is also a graded list that includes some of the routes from Holyhead Mountain. Although since the splitting of the guide, I am not sure whether to aim for the 100 graded list routes in either guide, or 100 routes combined with the Gogarth South when it comes out!

Another great guide from the Ground Up team.

Well after I have read the UKC articles about possibly the only ten decent jobs in climbing I thought that I would add an air of reality to the preceedings by pointing out what the ‘real’ world offers climbers. Whilst know how good the Senior Instructor of Plas Y Brenin will make for better reading than my particular experience of teh outdoor industry, there is only one post like Tim Neil’s, similar there are only two climbing magazine editors in the UK, so what are the odds your gonna land any of those jobs! The chances are for the majority of climbers your going to be at the shallow end of the employment pool. Anyway I hope I don’t put you off becoming an instructor.

So, do you really want that job?

Name: Mark Reeves

Age:33

Job Title: Freelance Instructor (Meant to be full-time but in reality is part-time)

Relevant Qualifications:
SPA, MIA, ML
BA (Hons) Environmental Planning and Management
Working towards a MSc in Applied Sport Science

Salary: Under £10000.

Perks and Holidays/time off:
Well I have had one holiday in about four years, and that was a week in Fontainbleau. Although many people would describe my life as one big holiday, but they don’t have to live with my bank account! I do get a lot of time off though sometimes 5 days a week, but mostly 7. Unfortunately when I get that time off it is often never my choice, as if I am offered work I have to take it. So weekends off are rare event, that means my social life poor to non-exsistent.

Describe your job:
Typically I am found on either a crag or mountain around North Wales mainly teaching adults how to climb, mountaineer or navigate. Its an amazing job when the weather good, however given that I live in North Wales then good weather isn’t exactly a a regular occurrence. Given enough waterproof clothing though even the most dire days out on the hill can be great fun, especially with the variety of clients I get to meet. Although teaching climbing is one of the highlights of my work, you’d be amazed at how quickly teaching people to tie clove hitches can develop into a 9 to 5 habit, albeit half way up a classic route.

How did you get this job? How long did it take? Any hardships? Did you always want it or did it just happen?
In 2005 I had been working part-time in a climbing wall for over five years when I suddenly realised my life had gone nowhere, so I got the Barclaycard out and paid for my MIA training, the best £750 I have spent (although I have only just paid the balance off!), and manage to get onto Plas Y Brenin Instructor Scheme, where they take on a few qualified and experience instructors and turn them into PYB instructor clones. Most people take a pay cut to get onto the PYB scheme, I had a pay rise! At the end of the course I was thrown out into the real world where I now fight a rising tide to stay afloat.

What attracted you to the job in the first place?
I have to admit that a few years ago (1995) when I was first getting qualified I was taught by a much younger Libby Peters, if only it had been a fat hairy arsed mountaineer, perhaps I’d have become an accountant!

How long have you been in the job now? How long do you see yourself continuing?
I have been in and out of instruction for too long and I see myself continuing for a while longer. Until either I get a better offer of work or my body falls apart, and given a bad back, dodgy knees and a host of other body aches might not be that long!

Describe your average day at work? And the average week?
The average day involves getting to the centre that I am working for a morning meeting, getting enough caffine inside me before that meeting to actually wake me up. We then meet up with the clients and go out for the day. Often this is multi-pitch climbing, so we take in the easy classics around north wales, much to many climbers despair. However I think that the guys instructors teach have just as much right to be there as any of the ‘regular’ climbers I see. Just because they choose to be taught some safe practice, rather than learn it organically through experience and other climbers, why does that make us anything other than a group of climbers out for the day. I can almost guarentee getting two clients up a route quicker than the average climbers who are tackling the route.

If I am working for Plas Y brenin then its back to the centre for Tea and Cakes at five. If you pull the shortest straw in the morning meeting then you have to do a 5.30 or sometimes even later session. At times it can include camping out over night (ML Mini Breaks) and going on ‘night time strolls’.

My average week is split with about two days spent working and the other 5 complaining that I don’t have enough work. I am also spending some time each week doing my school work, which is currently designing an experiment that looks at how to improve imagery interventions. The MSc work has kept me from getting too bored, and kept my brain working. As a couple of years ago I found that the job wasn’t mentally challenging enough anymore. So now I put the theories on sport psychology, effective coaching and physiology into practice when I work.

Although I didn’t get paid for it I also volunteered as the BMC Wales representative on a National Source Group that look at coaching in mountaineering, and as part of my MSc helped write the report that has now lead to the a process that will eventually see additional qualification in coaching climbing and mountaineering

Is it how you/other people imagine it to be?
I am sure that most people think freelance instructing is great, well paid and allows you to be your own boss. However they forget to tell you, that you need to pay for your own insurance, pay your own holiday pay, never ever be sick or injured unless you’ve paid for loss of earning insurance, pay for all you own equipment (waterproof’s aren’t cheap, and you’ll need at least one set a year maybe more), not to mention trying to keep current by paying for your own Continuing Professional Development (My 2 year MSc is costing £3200!)

You always think there will be lots of work out there, however the reality in North Wales at least is that there are too many freelancer chasing too little work. You need to be on the phone hassling the programmer if you want work, which is something that I don’t excell at.

The best day? The worst day?
The best day was being paid to guide Dream of White Horse, I worked it out at about 50p ever move I made!
The worse day was prolapsing a disc in my back when lifting a disabled person into an open boat, I didn’t earn any money for about 6 months, and the effects lasted for around two years.

Do you ‘love’ your job? Why? Why not?
Don’t get me wrong I really love doing my job, but hate the lack of any real sercurity, the next three months (Nov, Dec, Jan) will see me struggling to survive, and with the current economic downturn the future really isn’t at all bright.
Getting full time work as an instructor is difficult for mountaineering specialist, and without it you are often left uncertain at what next month will bring. You’ll also need to be willing to move to Scotland for a few months a year if you want to work year round, and get you winter tickets. Again something I have not been willing or financially able to do.

If a teenager said to you ‘I want to be an instructor like you’ – what would you say? Recommend it? Warn them off? Laugh?!
I’d say get a proper job and money and keep the climbing as a hobby. Failing that remember centres like rounded instructors, which means yes you are going to have to get into a boat and go paddling. I guess the simple answer to someone is whether they choose to live to climb or climb to live.
For the right person willing to sacrifice a lot, and if your lucky enough to land a full time contract somewhere then the job would be excellent. However be wary of becoming a freelancer, as unless your on the case all the time, or have a degree in online marketing and Search Engine Optimisation then your probably just be another one of the many instructor dot coms out there (Try googling climbing instructor).