Climbers set to Grind the Internet to a halt

Video sharing websites Youtube and Vimeo, have said that unless climbers stop uploading videos of themselves on every boulder problem they have ever climb then we have only two years before all cloud storage is full to capacity and the internet will grind to a halt.

A representative from Google said that they had expected the internet to hit gridlock sometime in 2030, bringing the world to an end, or at least left wondering what grade Three Pebble Slab is and where the next LOL cat was coming from.

An average grade boulderer was seen filming themselves on every V0- in the Llanberis Pass, and complaining that the lack of 3G meant he would have to wait a few hours before getting the clips online so his friend can see how rad he was, despite the friend filming the clip.

Youtube spokesman said “it is these self-centre actions that will bring the internet down. We have had to start deleting the thousands of failed attempts and poorly shot films of Deliverance. A film-maker who wished to remain  anonymous was overheard saying “it is ridiculous, any idiot with an iPhone thinks they are Steven !@£@$ing Speilberg”.

A government spokesmans waded in saying “we have to guard against this behaviour to avoid a global information meltdown, so we are asking all climbers to refrain from uploading any problems below V9, we hope that if this advice is not followed we can avoid catastrophe. If this fails then legislation may have to be passed to put an absolute stop to endless unedited footage accompanied by techno.”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *