Well I have made lifestyle choice today, I went into a sports shop to buy a pair of running shoes, if you thought it was hard to choose a pair of rock boots then you haven’t been into JJB Sports recently, this shop must have been the biggest selection of trainers I have every seen in my life, it makes V12’s rock boot selection look pitiful, which I can assure you its not. Where the hell do you start?
Unlike many modern electrical shops like PC world, Dixons, Curry’s where they seem to have staff that stand around being geeky talking about geeky things that they can’t afford to have in their chavy life’s, and getting service is actually an impossibility; the JJB staff on the other had me targeted before I could escape back out the door under the sheer overwhelming fear of trying to select just one pair of trainers from such an incomprehensible number of possibilities.
“Can I help you sir?”
“Yes, I’d like some trainers”
To this the sales man looked at me with a kind of sarcastic look of utter detest, as if to say, well you’ve come to the right place, now help me out by being a bit more specific, there are hundreds to choose from you idiot.
“What are the trainers for?”
“Running”
I was of course being hopeful, in that I would like to use them for running, but I expect that after the first run I will hang up these running shoes as a bad idea.
“New to running are you?”
“No, I am looking for some…….(I frantically try to remember a brand of running shoes, whilst looking up and down the endless wall of shoes)….. Asics”
I was of course lying because I didn’t want to give this self-righteous sarcastic bastard the privilege of giving me any advice based on his obvious lack of schooling, seeing that he was currently interned at JJB. Given his age he wasn’t going to call on his life experience to aid my judgement in a pair of pumps. He also had the look of someone that hadn’t seen any exercise since he left the school when it was compulsory.
“Good, Choice….”
Thank good I was stood in front of the Asics stand otherwise I might be wearing a pair of over priced Nike’s manufacturer by imprisoned school children in indo-china for 10p a pair, using toxic glue that is illegal in 90% of the known world! Instead I got lesser known brand, probably manufactured in the same factory, for 13p a pair.
“….What size are you?”
“Ummmmm?”
The silence continued for a while, as I frantically tried to remember my actual shoe size, the only time I have brought a pair of shoes in the last four years that wasn’t a pair of climbing shoe’s was, well, I haven’t. So you can imagine the look on the assistants face when I peeled off the rotting pair of Scarpa approach shoes. He actual walk over to a different seat to collect a can of foot odour spray, ready to disinfect any shoes my feet went in.
“I am size 12 ” (I am not really, but you know what they say, big feet…….big shoes)
He did manage to find the matching pair of shoes, with a sale on I saved myself enough money to buy a neoprene knee support. To protect and old war wound I got whilst dancing a couple of years back. Anyway the shoes have had there inaugural outing to Thursday night Badminton, where they were certainly better than the pair of 5.10 skating shoes that I had been using the previous weeks.
They have yet to be out for a run though!
Here’s a tune about New Shoe’s if your bored.